Last month, Chris & I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Many of you shared your well wishes and asked some questions about being married, how we met and more. We actually get these questions more often than not and I wanted to take the time out to answer a few. Of course I want to make one thing very clear – I’m no marriage or relationship expert. This is simply me sharing my personal experiences.
How are old were you when you and Chris got married? How was it getting married so young?
Chris and I got married in 2009 when we were both 25 (he turned 26 a month later). When we got married we thought it was such a great age to get married because we were young without being kids (think 19) and we weren’t too old to where we stuck in our ways. In our minds, 25 was old enough.
Apparently, 25 was young. In comparison to our generation as a whole, we did get married young, but even through the ups and downs, we’re pleased with when we got married. We don’t view when we got married as “young” (vs. just right) so I don’t think it’s affected our marriage in a positive or negative light. It just is what it’s supposed to be.
How did you and Chris meet?
Funny enough, Chris and I met on MySpace. (Remember, MySpace? I know, right?) Chris was all about using social media back then for just that – to be social. We friended each other and stayed friends for a year or so before we met in person. Within that year, we had messaged each other countless times only in a platonic way and maybe had a handful of phone conversations.
After meeting in person, we started dating a couple of months later.
How did things change when you had kids?
Things change when you have a kid. Things change a lot when you have more than one if you ask me. Personally, I think our marriage has gotten stronger since we’ve become parents because we have to be very intentional about how we schedule our time and ensure we made time for one another. My appreciation for Chris also really grew because I got to see him as a father which he is amazing at. He really gives it 100% like he gives everything.
How long did you guys date before you got married?
We dated for 6 months before getting engaged and we were engaged for a year.
What’s the hardest thing about being married?
I think it’s a challenge to effectively communicate and stay on the same page with someone every single day of your life. We put our best foot forward daily, but inevitably miscommunication happens because we’re two different people who sometimes have different perspectives.
What’s the best thing you’ve ever done for your marriage?
It’s twofold for me – pray together and therapy together. Both are necessary because prayer is not therapy and therapy is not prayer. I’ve been pretty candid about how Chris and I were separated two years ago and we wouldn’t have gotten through it without those two things. They’re definitely things you have to be really intentional and collaborative about as a married couple. But it has made a world of difference in our communication, understanding and love for one another.
Let me know what you’d like upcoming Q&A Monday series to be about in the comments below!